Her Salvation

Anger twisted trough out my form as I stormed away for Takkddinn and my sister's sight. I did wish to learn what I was to be, how to handle myself, but when he forced his pain, his life upon me. I needed a break. One should know when to stop and continue specially if their student cannot proceed at the time. I roll my eyes thinking of him teaching me. "He may have lived for 80,000 years, but he has not learned kindness nor compassion in all that time. I wish not to deal with him then. I shall study and learn on my own if he cannot see his fault"

I speak aloud to myself not caring whom hears, as I make my way through the courtyard desperately seeking my favored spot next to the stream. My eyes did not even turn to mother's statue as I passed it. I could not handle her being disappointed in my anger, my out burst of the earlier events. I always worried she was still judging me as her soft little girl, when in truth I had some ice collecting on my heart. I found the favored willow with quick strides, not even caring my skirts were brushing against the ground, gathering dirt against lower most hem..

Fist slammed against the bark, foot kicking the side of it, trying to release my tension. Trying to push out the memories I am now burdened with thanks to his forcing. One would go at a slow pace with all that but no, he wanted to give it all at once. Utter exhaustion of thoughts, I would turn to allow my back to slide down the tree. Sigh escaping my lips, as digits lift to brush away a fallen lock.

"Here is my salvation from him, from the pushing and the supposed teaching. Here I relax, and yet relaxation does not come...What the hell"

I strolled at a distane behind her, then looked up from the ground passing beneath me as I saw her fit of anger. In almost an instant I was standing side on the platform of our mother's statue. The one we so carefully crafted from marvel in an attempt to immortalize her beauty, and repeat her gentle face which was gifted to our Lady Jessa.

I grazed my fingers along the stone before leaning my head onto the statue's waist, being a bit of a large one. To show our undying love.
I watched Jessa before a light smile crossed my face, "Don't be so angry sister, how much does that solve?" I said comfortingly even though at a distance from her willow, I made sure she could hear me.
A wind picked up as I looked in the direction as the leaves and sad drapes of the willows brushed against it.
Strings of my long hair caressed my face I turned my gentle gaze gifted by nature and out of the now cold Knight's chambers I felt my spirits more uplifted.
Now the feeling of the darkness coming dulled from me.

Eli's voice carried on the wind came towards me. I allowed me head to lean back against the tree before turning to look at her leaning against mother. Then turning my head back again eyes looking up in the branches of the willow, watching the wind gently move threw them. "It solves nothing, I know. Anger is also for the weak, I suppose, but we all are weak at times.."

Another deep sigh before I would turn to look at her again, trying to push my anger away.."Sister you are always watchful of me, always there to protect me. I am guessing you still see me as that little girl, or maybe it is just your nature when it comes to me. I will forever think kindly of you on that matter, but in your eyes am I still that little girl, or is it something different?"

I was curious of her answer, but I was not for sure which I would prefer her to tell me. My mind began to wander again, to masq soon upon us. So many things needed to be finished, and I had to make the weekly announcements to the kingdom soon. It was a pleasure to do but it also seemed something in vain as well. I would look back up to the branches above my head and just stare, trying to figure the next best plan of action..

A strong wind gusted as I turned my back now to lean it onto mother. I folded my arms beneath each other. Was the winter soon to come already? I could not wait. The fallen snow always had good memories. This would be my first coming back to this world.
"Sister." I looked to her, my face lightening. In my preference was to find a sort of relief so I could not dwell upon these dark times.
"Anger is the weakness of all of us, and most of the time gets the best of us. But we must all have a sense of understanding.
I looked up upon the cloudy sky, and upon the distance past our mountains I saw more ever so slowly rolling in.
I listened closely to her words.
"Part of it is in my nature, the other part is I do not wish for you to see the things, nor feel what I have felt. It is a burden in my heart, I did not want you in the hands of any others. With that said, I was hoping to turn you for that reason. I wanted to bare the same pain with you my heart being the equivalency of your..well..transformation you may say. After that had happened, in my heart you are always my little Jessa. Despite your ever growing strength and compassion you are still the child I had trotting along at my sides with so much glee." I closed my eyes with a slight smile curving my lips. It did not stay through my next words, " but as I had said.. I do not wish for you to see the things I have seen. I wanted you to stay pure and have a life I wished I could have kept now."

"Elodie, if I could relive the day of my turning I would.. I would not have gone there alone, I would not have been tied to that tree and put beneath his spell on my mind. T'was not my wish to be this way. When Rein placed the offer off my old life upon the table I wished desperately to accept it. But, I knew if I did it would once again have come to the point that I would be thus way again." My hands lift to go behind my head supporting it some as I keep my gaze above me.

"I am now forever trapped within a body that is not that of a child, nor that of a full woman. I am forever now stuck with my youth. I know so little of this lifestyle I now live. I fear it some for I did not fully know my last and now I must learn a new." I smile slightly thinking of the past and me always tagging along at her side, actually skipping along. It makes me chuckle some. I turn my gave to her, but instead look at mother's face as I speak once more to my sister."Elodie, teach me. Teach me not to fear this, take away the monsters from beneath my new bed as you did before. Show me my new life, if you can, but be a kind teacher, show me throw time not all at once."

"Dwelling upon what has become of all of us, is only worsening all of our situations." I glanced to the ground stepping off of the pedistool of my mothers honor. I slowly trailed along to her as in my eyes I almost saw the younger Jessa. I glanced up fully, "We must accept and adapt."

Those times, oh how glorious. I felt her energy of remorse upon our childhood.
"Youth shall be praised I suppose. You may be stuck in this younger version but your mind is wise beyond your years.." Her words caught me and threw me off, sadness overwhelmed my eyes as I walked over to her side. Then I regained my composure, trying to dismiss the memories of how I rushed to her side to sleep next to her, before making her laugh by defeating her 'monsters'. "...Sister, I'm afraid that might be an on going battle within your soul. I know you only know so little of my turning and what I did to get at this point.. but my Lord taught me most I know.. sadly it was in a darkened way. You fixed that." I looked away from her, my eyes following the grass and flowers that were being pushed by the wings. They swayed in the gentle breeze. "You brought open a softer side of myself, sadly my Lord's teaching as much as I admired him, still get the best of me."

"But I have been accepting and adapting for ten long years. I suppose we all have, but I wish my life. I wish my childhood back I wish more fond memories instead of always learning always being taught. I wish for love, but I fear that shall never come. I wish for so much and yet I am offered none of them. I want to live and breath my life, but instead I live and breath for this kingdom, for our people, our alignments, our friends. And I live to try to honor our mother, and you.." The last word spoken was so soft that it was barely heard. I wanted my sister to be proud of me, I had looked to her as my other mother for so long.

"I am so tired of these battles that I must face. But i shall face them I will stop running. I will seek out the Knight tomorrow after I have slept from this day. I will ask him to teach me, but teach me in a pace that fits us both not just him..."I turned my attention back to the stream as I listened to her words of her sire. It is strange at this moment I could not respect mine, I actually some what resented him for all that he has done to me thus far. How much farther would I resent him or would it change to a friendship, or just tolerating him. I turned my attention once more to her. "It only gets the best of you because it is what you have known for the last ten years, but I have not seen anything wrong with how you are now, or ever thus far. In my mind you do no wrong"

"Don't we all? We lost everything.. we lost our family, most of all our mother. The only light in our lives, that light has dulled. Now our brother who takes little to nothing in part of our kingdom. All we have is the hopes of creating a family from all of this." I spoke so little words as the darkness overwhelmed me again.

"Although you may not wish it, he is still your Sire. Lord Takkddinn will always be, that is just how it is.." I sighed the sky slowly losing it's blue as the cold neared. I was going to share a little more with her, "You see, my sister, my Sire isn't quite what was thought of. I didn't meet him upon my return to this world.. I met him where brother and I met again, whether you know that I was sent to the underworld or not.. I am not sure, but that is what happened. I suppose it was trickery. That is where I met 'him' my lord and at the time my savior from absolute torture..." I muttered my last words in a low and quieter tone as if I was being silenced by my very nerves.
"It is something none of us can help... our Sire's have a word, but not control over us." I lied on my part, as a throbbing pain hit my once in my head, the feeling was coming back.. absolute dread.
It was at this point I fit together the pieces. When his name is thought of, mentioned.. This happened.
Fear possibly? Or my intuition kicking in.

I had listened to her words. Yes, he was my Sire, but truly, I did not know fully what that meant. I twisted slightly on the ground turning towards the stream as she spoke. Sitting there trying to decipher her words and each of there meanings. Her voice sounded off like something was the matter. I would push myself from the ground and move to her side place my hand upon her shoulder. "Are you alright Elodie, has this day brought you to much stress, as it has me?"

((sorry tired going to bed now will fix this later))

My eyes still closed I shook my head no, I placed a hand on my forehead rubbing my fingers on my temples soothing my headache.
Slowly I lifted my eyelids to shift my vision to her, her hand not so warm anymore brought me slight sadness I dismissed quickly with the acceptance of change.

"Sister, my apologies but yes it has. I do not mean to get too territorial over you..." My head turning to her, as almost a plea for some sort of comfort. Then I regained my composure pulling my strength back together, discerning the comfort I wished.
"To put it simply sister. We are not safe. Why is unknown to me...but as I said before not sure of you heard me, something closer is moving in by the hour. Something big, it's energy is overwhelming. It haunts my deepest of thoughts, I can hardly even think straight. If I had a heart, it would be pounding with fear. Being a knight and your sister demands my strength..but this... this almost terrifies me." I look quickly away the wind scooping my hair in front of my face as my eyes grew slightly wide. I shook my head, " I don't know what to do. This is too big, too much, and I'm not so sure I know how to go about it."

"Sister we have just begun to rebuild this kingdom again and it seems maybe we should have left it forgotten and run by our brother. We have trouble reaching us from places known and unknown, are we ever going to be ready for them? We may prepare ourselves but in this twisted and sick thing we call reality we will never be fully ready." I offer her a gentle smile as I see she is concerned of it and it seems of me.

"But we will face it full force, even if it pushes our backs against the wall, we shall prevail. If we die or lose some life to it we still prevail by allowing others to learn from our mistakes. My heart is not one for battle and war, you know this sister, but I am strong in other ways in which I shall hope to prove useful. And in the end if I must fight I shall." I meant this with words and actions. If I had to raise a sword I would ready myself, if I hand to raise a power I would seek out the teachings. I did not know fully of what was to come for she did not, but I would ready myself for all that is possible.

I let out a sigh in agreement before looking up, my face turning stern more serious as I noticed the darkening of the sky.
"Yes we shall, I will not let us fall again... that would be unbearable. Alaent'tar stands for The Noble Line of Victory..father may have ruined us once, but I refuse to let this die in our order." I balled my fist then let it ease.
I finally had to tell her what my intuition spoke of.

"Sister... my dear Jessa." I spoke hesitantly, building up the courage. It was something so simple, rather humorous that I would unsheath my sword and fight in an instant when I had to. Unleash full fury upon those who oppose us, but at the mere thought of my lord.. the faint whisper of his name broke me. "... I fear and dread to tell this, but I feel... a very strong and cold feeling that this is my Lord... He is the one drawing near. The one after our kingdom, why is unsure to me..why he would do this is beyond me. I fear he wants to take me as his own again.. but I am not sure. I sense deep anger, an energy I have yet to experience."

"He shall not have my sister again. It will not be. I care not whom he is, you are of my blood first, you are my protector first. He has had you before, he in a sense took you away from me yet gave you back. No he has had you and now you are mine again." Wow can we say selfish? A fierce look grew with in my eyes as I heard her last few sentences. Nostrils flaring as breath was taken deep within my lungs and released trying to calm myself.

"I am not going to give you up helplessly again sister. I will not allow him to take you, if he wishes you he must take me as well or he gets neither of us..."Could that be possible, and whom really wanted a child tagging along side them. Was he coming to take Eli as his love again, take our kingdom since he had power over her. What did he want if he was coming. Why was he coming, she had just been given back to me and he is coming thus soon?

" My dearest sister... " I noticed her anger and gave off a sweet comforting smile, "...He will not take me again. Although he is my Lord... my sweet Lord Sanguineous. " I paused my words, aware that slipped from my mouth. I bit my lip and continued. "My love, yes... he is my love.. The man who gifted me, I share a bond with him and he knew well of my affection I wished to share with him. I don't know why he would be coming here after his overlord demanded he set me free.. Unless the devil himself has other intentions to drag him to the living well aware of his infatuation with me.."

My smile fading, I quickly did my best to regain it as I slowly laid on my back to stare up at the sky now it was darkening and the night obviously growing cold. "..I have no intentions on going anywhere.. I can never leave you again, nor separate myself from our family's kingdom. Although, I do not believe he is just after me. His wrath and his pace are telling me much different."

I calmed myself seeing her gentle smile, and I believed her words. A slight nod as I took her hand and led her back to mother's statue. My eyes lifting to look into the stone yet still soft, caring eyes of our mother as I spoke. "She shall be our savior and the one in which keeps us together. Though she has left us in the mortal sense, I believe it was her hand that brought you back to me, and me back to you. I believe it is her hand that shall protect us and keep us together."

Maybe I thought like a child in a fairy tale, but with my heart I felt it the truth. I gently released her hand as I turned my eyes to look at her. My eyes moving to hers as I spoke once more. "Maybe it is best he come. We can learn why he is here and I can thank him for allowing my sister her new life." I was trying to make her think less of his reasoning and more to a embracing the thought and the idea of him coming. Maybe in some way it could be good, yet only time shall inform us of the truth.

I looked to her in the quite possible most lost way possible. Lost? Mostly because her being 16, and always will be, still effected her mind. Oh her childish mind, one that loved to think the best and positive outcome and reasoning for all situations, this always either brought me laughter or a smile that was impossible to hide.

And I was right, I closed my lips trying not to smile but it happened anyways, a closed lip smile was one I could not keep hidden so I looked away I held back my laughter and regained my composure, "You just might be right, mother has always had her ways. Possibly, regardless of our immortality there is an end to everything. This time I am almost sure neither of us will see her even after that. Our curse is blasphemous but mother would find her way." I returned a hopeful smile to her, but the her next statement of my Lord Sanguineous struck me like the very arrow he flung into my heart with his voice.

"Oh my little Jessa." I placed my hand on her head playing with her hair a little, still keeping my smile. "If that is true I do believe I owe you. My Lord Sanguineous's intentions are unknown to me at this point. All that I know is he should be here awfully soon. So let us hope the best, I do not feel like a dealing with a raging war between him and I. Thank him if you please, I am anticipating his reaction if you do." I let out a light chuckle. After all, why frown upon the memories I believed I didn't regret?